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Feeling Lost in the Mix

Hi everyone! I hope you all are doing well and had a great week. Before I begin I just want to thank you all for the overwhelming support I have received on the first few posts on my blog. I truly appreciate every one of you reading this today. If you know anyone who could benefit from my project or just feel motivated to, please do not hesitate to share it. Thank you again. I also just made an Instagram for the blog where I will share updates about the content and posts, so you can follow @biglittlesisterblog if that is something you are interested in. Alright, let's get into today's topic.


Today I want to talk about feeling lost in the mix. This is one of the more sensitive/deep topics of being a sibling of a person of special needs, but it is a very real feeling. Any sibling or child in ANY family can feel this way, but I am going to focus on how it can be prevalent with siblings of people with special needs.


Growing up with my family, my parents always tried to keep a balance of the time that they spent with Cate and me, which never is or was an easy task. Cate is full care, absolutely everything has to be done for her. Cate can not shower, brush her teeth, get dressed, eat, go to the bathroom, entertain, or do anything by herself. Someone has to have eyes on Cate about 90% of the time she is awake to make sure she is ok and happy. Cate's care is a lot, and as I have gotten older I understand that Cate's care needs time, but when I was younger it was really hard.


When I was in elementary school, Cate had a lot of surgeries, big surgeries. She was in and out of the hospital quite a bit, and because all of these things were a big deal, a lot of attention was to Cate. I am not going to sugarcoat it, but there were times where I felt overlooked and forgotten. I was always a kid where I wanted my parent's attention a lot of the time, and not being able to have all the attention I wanted was very hard for me. I did not know what to do in these situations or if I was wrong for feeling the way I did, but as I got older I started to understand more and more that my parents absolutely were not trying to overlook me, but they just had to split their time (like in any family and life in general). Cate's care can be a full time job, and this feeling of being lost in the mix taught me two very important life lessons. It first taught me to be flexible. I had to learn that I have to wait sometimes for things I need or want and to really just go with the flow. Going with the flow is the motto we live by in my family. The second thing I learned was how to use my voice and the importance of talking about my feelings. I learned that these feelings did not make me a bad person for feeling this way, but I need to speak up for myself. No one knows your feelings, but you, and if you want something to change, you need to say something. Even though it was hard to comprehend or feel overlooked or lost in the mix, it ended up teaching me such valuable life lessons that will greatly help and benefit me in the long run.


The best advice I can give you if you are feeling lost in the mix is talk to your parents. Your parents are not mind readers, and they probably do not know you feel this way. Speak up, don't let yourself sit in silence. Ask your parents to maybe put your siblings to bed earlier or have your parents stay up later, so you can spend one on one time together. Ask to go out to dinner just you and your parents. Your parents only want what's best for you, and they will almost always want to know how you feel and how they can help.


I want anyone who is reading to know, these feelings are absolutely, 110% normal. You are not alone in feeling this, and you can always send me a message if you need support. I hope you all have a great weekend, thank you for reading today.


-Alex

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